colossians 1:118-20

"He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross."

Colossians 1:18-20

peace isn't a feeling that comes when you are in a calm season of life or when everything is going good. peace doesn't come and go. peace can not be bought at the grocery store. there isn't a coupon for it. and it for sure doesn't come from other people. peace can only come from the Creator who IS peace! it isn't a feeling but an unchangeable condition. it is permanent forgiveness.

often i have searched for peace in my circumstances, friends, family, and many others but only God's peace lasts. i can easily begin to worry and keep my worries on the forefront of my mind. it's hard for me to rest in the presence of my Savior when my life feels like chaos. but no matter where i am Christ calls to me and pursues me. He offers me peace in his presence. it's mine for the taking so why don't i choose it? when i stay in my insecurities and worries i have excuses for things and it gives sin a place to hide. but God's peace is the permanent forgiveness and that comes every moment of every day no matter what. some days i yell at myself "reach for it, audra, peace is right there for you! you were made for victory, not defeat!" i'm asking the Lord to teach me to enjoy his peace more continually. to seek his presence and therefore will also seek his peace. peace is going to rest in my house today because i claim it!

day 269 - running

running has become one of my new favorite things. i didn't think i would enjoy it or even be able to do it. but i downloaded the couch to 5k app on my itouch and amazingly enough i am really enjoying it. i try to run 3 times a week. i am liking running outside rather than the treadmill but sometimes the treadmill is the best thing since it is freezing outside. i love the fact that for 30 minutes it is just me and road. no one is hanging on me, asking me for things, i'm not breaking up fights, fixing food, or wiping snotty noses. at the beginning i thought i would spend my time thinking of all the things i should be doing or need to do when i get done. but i don't. i actually spend the time just pushing myself and being so proud of myself for actually accomplishing something. i know that during those 30 min i can accomplish every goal i set before my self. run for 3 min. walk up that hill as fast as possible. run again for 3 min. it's amazing. i feel great. i'm thankful that God laid this on my heart. brian and i are signing up for the half marathon that will be held the end of april. yay!

5 years ago today...part 4

5 years ago today brian and i were living in atlanta falling more in love with each other every day. we had come to call atlanta home only 2 months before when we evacuated there for hurricane katrina. little did we know that we would not be going back to our homes in new orleans. it was devastating and totally God's plan at the same time. we leaned on each other and trusted God with our future.

on this day we decided to get away from the stress of life and chaos that consumed us and took a drive through the mountains. i still can see the incredible beauty if i close my eyes. i can smell the mountain air. i can still picture riding in the car watching brian as he drove over the winding roads. we took hundreds of pictures of the colourful leaves and the majestic scene that encompassed us. we eventually ended up on the top of a mountain at an abandoned campsite. this particular spot was breath taking. and of course, as we had been doing the entire trip, brian brought out his camera and took several cheesy pictures of us. we then proceeded to dive in to a bible study together. i was so thankful to fall in love with someone who loves Christ and wants to go deeper with him along with me. after the conclusion of our study brian was telling me how amazing as i was :) then the next thing i know he says "audra, would you be my wife?" and pulls out a ring! ahhhh! i still don't remember exactly what i said "yes", "of course" or just "uh huh". either way i was officially marrying this man. it was as magical and perfect as i ever imagined it to be. i had know idea and all hopes at the same time. i knew without a shadow of doubt that this was the man i would spend my forever with.

brian, you changed my world the day you walked into it. you changed it again the day you asked to not to just walk into my world but create a world with me. our life has been chaotic and adventurous from the beginning. we've been at the bottom and we've been here, there, and everywhere together. thank you for shouting your love from the mountaintops. thank you for the past 5 years that get more amazing every day. i love you. always and forever.

5 years ago today...part 1

5 years ago today brian and i met for the first time (that we can recall). it wasn't this moment that i will remember for the rest of my life. in fact i was wondering why this "old" guy was working at camp. yes, we met at a camp. it was my second year to work there and his first. he was over all the summer staff (which included me). i'm sure i didn't make any impression on him either. here is a snippet of what i wrote in my journal that day:

"my prayer is that i will be a servant this summer. that God will allow me to serve Him in all that i do. that my attitude is positive and that i spend as much time with him as i can. i pray that God continues to direct my life and show me where he wants me. i pray that he will open up a job opportunity somewhere. i pray that i learn more about who God is and the woman that he wants me to be. i pray that he continues to prepare me to be in love and to one day be a wife and mother. i pray that perhaps it will be time for God to bring my future husband into the picture."

this year brian and i will celebrate our 5 year anniversary. over the next few months i want to share the amazing journey God has brought us on over those years. when i stepped on that campus 5 years ago i never would have dreamed that 5 years later i would have fallen in love with the most incredible man, that he would fall just as deeply in love with me and that we would already have 4 beautiful children. so thankful that God is the author of our lives and he surprises us every day. "i love you, Brian! i'm so blessed to celebrate these years with you."

day 30 - boys will be boys

when we first started our adoption process i knew i wanted a boy. i'm not sure if i thought boys would be easier or what. my first thought was that i knew when we had biological kids they would most likely all be girls. so hence the reason for going for a male. but when i was saying yes to having a boys i had no idea that God would bring into our house 4 of them!!!

so hear i am surrounded by males. even our dog is a male. they are everything i expected: sweaty, stinky, messy, loud, grunting, burping, farting, wrestling, singing, dancing, eat you out of house and home fools! they play outside till it is pitch black. make up their own rules and don't care about how the game is really played. hate to loose. have a love/hate relationship with each other. don't like to be told what to do. showers are the last thing on their minds. could care less if their clothes were folded. like to have burping contests. and five minutes after dinner is over i hear "i'm hungry!"

but then there are a few things i didn't expect: tender hearted, soft spoken, gentle, helpful, affectionate, note writing men. they are concerned if they see my eyes full of tears, come to my rescue when i scream because i found a dead cockroach in the corner, climb the cabinets to reach the pan on the top shelf, write a note just to say "have a great day", and can't go to bed without a hug goodnight. even my littlest one, little K, wants to pray before i leave his room. he sticks his hand up and says "pray".

they have rocked my world and i'm grateful that God has given me the task of being their mother. i love being the only female in the house. my prayer is that God would use me to show them what a godly women and mother truly is. i make mistakes (on a daily basis) and i'm far from perfect. "Lord, let anything i do or say fall to the ground and may your truth be heard and seen!"

introducing the bailey bunch

the bailey bunch is finally all under one roof. there are 4 extra hearts to love, mouths to feed, bodies to hug, goodnights to say, and hands to hold. i LOVE it! we are all adjusting but i can't imagine my life any different at this moment. besides trying to stay on top of the laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, homework, and a toddler who is already climbing out of his crib; i am fully enjoying the sweet prayers that are said around the dinner table, hearing them ask who is in their new family, listening to them tell me about their first day of school and the friends they met, and tucking them in each night.

J is my oldest in 5th grade. he is smart, kind, gentle, handsome, huge smile, eager to learn, has a desire to know the Lord, and growing into a young man. he loves to read, skateboard, hang out with friends, play football, and play chess with his brothers. he also enjoys his favorite snack beef jerky and is a little shy towards new foods. we are already seeing God begin to tug on his heart as he asks questions and seeks to know more about the Word of God.

T is our 4th grader. he is our passionate child falling at either one end of the spectrum or the other. there is no middle ground. he is also very smart, can be shy, very protective, also handsome, extremely funny, and can steal your heart in an instant he is enjoys basketball, the wii, beating everyone at any game we play, reading wimpy kids, riding his bike, playing outside with his brothers, and sleeping. his favorite snack is also beef jerky but this dude eats everything you put in front of him. he likes all the healthy stuff along with the sugar. he always makes me feel great about my cooking. i even cooked an african dish for them the other night and he couldn't get enough of it. he also already has a spot in his heart for his new grandparents. i can't wait to dig into his little heart some more and find who God has created him to be and help T build on his passions. i know God has an incredible plan for his future.

D is our 2nd grader and will be your instant best friend. he is goofy, fun-loving, easy going, always says "please" and "thank you", would vacuum the entire house if i let him, enjoys riding his scooter and bike, playing outside with his brothers, and playing every board game in the house. he loves his chili fritos but he is also an excellent eater. D, like T, would eat us out of house and home if we let them. he also loves to read and we are enjoying reading aloud together. he has already made several friends at school and even got to go on a field trip on his first day. he has a huge heart and wants to encourage. God is opening his eyes to new things every day and we are anxious to pour into D and help him to know the Lord in his own way.

our little I is going to be our little heart breaker. he is 2 and that is 2 with all sense of being 2. he started climbing out of his crib on his 3rd night home. and he is also pulling off his diaper. oh boy, so not ready for all that right now. little I loves to play hard, play with his older brothers, sing at the top of his lungs, find anything that makes noise, drink apple juice, eat yogurt, put everything in his mouth, and he is already becoming jackson's best friend. i am loving having him home all day while the older 3 are in school. i'm praying that God will use me as a vessel to teach little I and that God will mold him into a little warrior.

this is my new family. i love going to sleep at nigh knowing my family is safe and sound. i love waking up in the morning hearing them already up and playing in their rooms. i the big bear hugs that come before bedtime. i love being a mom. and this is the new and improved bailey bunch...at least in words.

why i blog

there are many reasons to blog. some blog to let off steam. others blog to have some communication with the outside world. some blog to have a record of their current life. some blog to be resources. well i blog for all those reasons. blogging is like journaling to me. it allows me to pour out all that stuff that is just sitting in my head or heart. because i don't have a job and my office is my home blogging allows me to have that connection to the outside world. and i love the thought that i get to have a record of this entire journey God has brought us on. but the biggest reason that i blog is i want to be a resource.

the blogger world has been invaluable to me throughout this adoption process. you will see several links on the side of our blog of other adoption blogs that have given us so much hope and encouragement. i love that there are so many people out there sharing their journey. you can almost always find someone who has been through or is going through exactly what you are. that is huge! however, most of the blogs we follow are international adoption and a few domestic adoption.

when we began the foster/adoption process we found it a little more difficult to find resources on that process. a lot of it is because you have to be so careful about what you say as a foster parent. well i'm learning that you can still keep a lot of things private while still being a resources. so i am praying that God will use my blog to be a resource for others that are thinking about or are going through the foster/adoption process. it's a very different world with a lot of different struggles and emotions. we all need to lean on each other. it's all about asking for help! you need a community to walk through this.

i'm here to answer whatever questions i can and provide any insight to what God is walking us through. even though we have been walking this road for over a year and half our journey is just beginning. there is so much more to come!

about us

i know there have been several new people who have started reading this blog and a few have asked how this all began. you are welcome to go back to the beginning and read through our story. it's pretty crazy all the places God has taken us. but in case you don't have that much time i will give you a snippet...

brian and i met during the summer of 2005 while working at a camp. we worked with inner city kids and fell in love with each other falling in love with the kids we worked with. we got married a few months later knowing that God had put adoption on our hearts for the future. during the summer of 2008 brian and i both felt God tugging on our hearts that it was time to pursue adoption. although we thought we would have our biological children first (they will just have to come later) God had a different plan. we began pursuing international adoption through an amazing adoption agency bethany christian services (we highly recommend!). they walked us through some paperwork and talked with us a lot. that is when we began leaning towards domestic adoption because we thought we really wanted to start with an infant. so for about a year we walked the road to pursue and infant male. we had a few maybes along the way but nothing that stuck. it was just a lot of waiting. i'm pretty impatient and i began questioning God whether now was really the right time or not. we had said "yes" to whatever God wanted but i wasn't ready to say "yes" to all this waiting.

so in october 2009 we began searching hearts to see if we were really saying "yes" to WHATEVER God had for us and not just the "idea" we had in our head of how our family should start. once again God began tugging our heart strings and steering us towards foster/adoption. we didn't know a lot about it but began researching, contacting, and gathering as much information as possible. we were so excited to have something to do. we started in on the PATH class which all foster parents have to complete before pursuing any children. we completed the classes before christmas then hit a few road blocks. we were being told that the foster system didn't need us. just one more thing that made us doubt where God had us. but God...

God had a different plan. the wrong doors were being closed so the we would walk through the right open door. and that we did. we met an incredible case worker who has been walking with us step by step for the past 2 months. she introduced us to our soon-to-be fantastic 4. our family has been made up of only brian and i (and our dog jackson) for the past 4+ years and now in the next month we will be adding those fantastic 4 to our family. wow. isn't God awesome?!?!?! we never dreamed this is where we would end up but so grateful that God has brought us here. thankful and honored that he has invited us to join him in what he is already doing in these young men's lives. we feel blessed beyond belief to know them and have them in our home. it won't be all cupcakes and sunshine. the expectations and dreams i have had about what life would be like with kids has been surrendered to the Father. brian and i are jumping all in, dangerously surrendering, to whatever lies ahead, wherever God decides to take us from here. as some dear friends state all the time "we're trading in the ordinary for the the extraordinary!!!"

the article

here is a link to the article that was in the Williamson AM yesterday. great article but i was a little sad that we didn't get a picture. oh well. take a look and let us know what you think. are spot is on the third page of the article but the whole thing is great. the other two families are friends of ours and we all go to the same church.

Williamson AM Article