James 1:2-4

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, no lacking anything." James 1:2-4

go back and read that again. i know most of us have read that verse many times. usually when i read it i focus in on "consider if pure joy...". isn't that what we are told to do "count it all joy"? i'll admit that some days it seems impossible to have joy. joy is definitely the quality i would ask God for if i could ask for anything. i so focus on my circumstances way to often instead of the great big God who is in total control of my circumstances.

but this morning i was reading this verse with k (no longer little k because he is 5 and huge) and the part that stuck out to me was "so that you may be complete and mature." i've never thought about the fact that trials, which develops perseverance, which makes me complete and mature. meaning i have to go through those trials and testings of my faith to be made complete. reading it that way, why would i NOT want the trials. my prayer this morning has changed from "God deliver me from these trials" to "God use these trials to mature me and bring me closer to you".  we are going to face many many trials in our life. that is a given. and we should choose joy no matter our circumstances. it's a little easier to choose joy when i think that these trials are making me complete in Christ.

the battle belongs to the Lord

early spring i knew the Lord was getting my heart ready for a new season. at the time i had no idea what that season would bring. secretly i believed that it meant a new house, possibly another child, but most importantly an overwhelming sense of peace within our family. i would have never guessed that the season that God was preparing me for would be the toughest and darkest i would ever face. for the past 6 weeks or so we have been down in the trenches from sun up till sun down. it has been grueling, exhausting, dangerous, at times hopeless, and unending. prayer warriors, we are still in the midst of our battles. it's so much more that fighting the flesh, it is more spiritual than i know how to describe in words. we know the battle belongs to the Lord and he will gain the victory but we are crying out "how long oh Lord?" the bigger house, although a huge blessing, has brought only more room for satan to attempt to take over. the boys have not adjusted well to their new surroundings cause for them (and brian and i too) it's like starting over. we are all learning how to trust each other all over again. new schools have been difficult to work with. brian's student teaching has taken more time than we ever anticipated. steal, kill, and destroy seems to be the anthem that is being paraded over our house and we grasp for the refuge of our Abba Father. we know he is near. we know he has not forsaken us even though it feels so dark. i'm only writing this so you will know that there is more going on in the spiritual world around us than we can ever know. i see the war that goes on daily over the very soul of my little k. it's scary. i know that i have the power of God within me and i can crush satan so i don't understand what he is doing in my house. my house is supposed to be a safe haven where we can each be recharged and find rest under the wing of our Savior. today, brian lead our family in a prayer walk through our house once again claiming our battle ground for the Lord! we are leaning on the Lord to guide us through this darkness and into his everlasting light. we KNOW that the only reason satan is attempting to destroy our family is because he sees the plans that God has for us and he wants to take us out. be on the look out! if God prompts you to pray for my family please do. prayer is what is pushing us through. most days i am only functioning out of the grace of God. there is nothing left in me but there is so much more left in Him. as the book of lamentations (one of my favorite books in the bible) reminds me daily that God's love and mercy never runs out. great is His faithfulness! i have hope even when all hope is gone. my hope is built on nothing less that Jesus' blood and righteousness!

colossians 1:118-20

"He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross."

Colossians 1:18-20

peace isn't a feeling that comes when you are in a calm season of life or when everything is going good. peace doesn't come and go. peace can not be bought at the grocery store. there isn't a coupon for it. and it for sure doesn't come from other people. peace can only come from the Creator who IS peace! it isn't a feeling but an unchangeable condition. it is permanent forgiveness.

often i have searched for peace in my circumstances, friends, family, and many others but only God's peace lasts. i can easily begin to worry and keep my worries on the forefront of my mind. it's hard for me to rest in the presence of my Savior when my life feels like chaos. but no matter where i am Christ calls to me and pursues me. He offers me peace in his presence. it's mine for the taking so why don't i choose it? when i stay in my insecurities and worries i have excuses for things and it gives sin a place to hide. but God's peace is the permanent forgiveness and that comes every moment of every day no matter what. some days i yell at myself "reach for it, audra, peace is right there for you! you were made for victory, not defeat!" i'm asking the Lord to teach me to enjoy his peace more continually. to seek his presence and therefore will also seek his peace. peace is going to rest in my house today because i claim it!

God size miracle

God

sorry i took a longer break from the older child series than i expected. i will be back hopefully tomorrow with a new post in that series. but the reason for my break is because WE MOVED!!!! by a God sized miracle we were able to purchase a house without our tax refund. God didn't move the mountain, he just cut a big ole path right through the middle. that is how awesome the God is that we serve. i am still in awe of what God is doing for us. it all happened extremely fast and i have been neck deep in either packing or unpacking for the past month. we just moved in last weekend.

our house is more than we could have ever asked for. it is over 3400 sq ft, 5 bedrooms, 4 1/2 baths, plus a large area for the kids to play. we are currently turning one of the bedrooms into a playroom for the boys. the master suite is the biggest suite i've ever seen. our closet is bigger than our boys bedroom in our last house. i have my first separate bathtub EVER! that alone is going change everything. God has not only blessed us with space for the 6 of us but for our family to grow. He is so good! we are in an incredible community that has already embraced us. neighbors have been introducing themselves every time we step outside. and another God miracle, all of our neighbors have boys the same age as our boys. only God! our kids go outside and play in the cul-de-sac most of the day. oh, and we live across the street from the community pool. guess we will be spending most of our time? 

as you can see there is more than enough space in our house for visitors. we are just waiting to entertain you and enjoy your company. please come stay with us when you come through town. we have prayed for God to use us and our house to be a blessing to others and to bring glory to His name.  some people have asked if this is our dream house. well we weren't even looking for a dream house. we were looking for a house big enough for us in a community were we can serve. we wanted to be good stewards with our finances while still providing a safe place where our boys could grow. we know we will be here for at least the next 10 years. thank you for your many prayers for us throughout this entire house process. God heard and answered with awesomeness. we are forever grateful. praise and glory to God!