under construction

you might have noticed some of our blog changing over the past few weeks. we are in the process of reconstructing our blog for the new phase of our journey. please stay tuned for what will come in the near future. if you happen to see our laptop laying on the side of the road it is because we have gotten frustrated with creating new images to portray our thoughts. it seems to be stuck in my head and won't make it out through my hands. love you all.

gigi's little garden

some of you know my mother and some of you do not. she is one of the most incredible women i know. it's a blessing to be her daughter. she has taught me, encouraged me, pushed me, and showed me by example how to seek the Lord. one thing that i love about my mom is she is an amazing writer especially when it comes to writing down memories. and since she will soon become a grandmother she has started her own blog. i have know doubt you will enjoy it. she will make you laugh, cry, and just enjoy the moment. so hop over and make sure to follow her for her thoughts on being a "gigi"! gigislittlegarden.blogspot.com

i surrender all

when you say those words out loud "i surrender all" what are you really meaning? so many of the songs we sing in church say bold things like "i surrender all" or "take my life at let it be all for you and for your glory". do we truly understand what saying that means? i think that so often we say we "surrender" to God but it's only what is right in front of us. or we say "take my life" when it means for something good. it's easy to worship God when times are good and when life is going pretty easy. but what about in those seasons that are harder than anything you imagined? what about those moments that are so disappointing that you find it hard to breathe? what if something horrible happened to someone you love? in those moments do we want to "surrender all" or ask God "your will be done"?

this morning we sang those songs with those words in them and i knew God was speaking directly to my heart. if i knew the hardships of following after God would i still have surrendered my life to him? if he asked me to go to the ends of the earth would i still ask him to use me? many times in my life i have boldly asked God to use me and move my heart. and you know what, HE DOES!!! when we surrender to him its for the good and the bad. when we tell him that our lives are his and for him to do with as he sees fit it sometimes is very painful and sometimes very sweet.

brian and i were preparing to attend our meeting tomorrow to learn more about the sibling group that we have been matched with but it has been postponed until further notice. we are incredibly disappointed. even though this doesn't mean they still aren't ours it just means more waiting and more speed bumps. we are continuing to trust God's leadership but i caught myself this morning from the thought of "God, if i would have known everything that we would have to go through i don't think i can do it." i stopped myself because i did, am, and will surrender all and i am asking God's will to be done.

keeping busy

this week just doesn't seem to be going by fast enough. i'm trying to fill all my time with something to do so i'm sitting and just waiting. i'm sure you've noticed that we are in the process of changing our design on our blog. i'm hoping it will be up by next week. it's crazy at the thought that this time next week we will know if our life will drastically change or no. we are anxious, excited, overwhelmed and completely freaked out. but we are completely trusting God to provide us with the discernment to make the right decision. we are believing that this is the road God has for us so if it is not we are praying for a divine NO! right now we are coming up with every question we can think of to ask at our meeting on monday. if you think of a great question we would love to know.

many of you have asked if this is to foster children or to adopt them. well in our state you have to foster for a certain amount of time before you can file for adoption. but we would foster with the intent on adopting these kids. when i look back on where we were when we started this entire adoption process it blows my mind where God has taken us and how we got here. we have been overwhelmed at the response of people praying for us and willing to support us as we turn our lives upside down. we could never tell each of you enough how thankful we are for you and how we would not be doing this without you.

divine delays

many of you have been anxiously and patiently waiting for news of what happened on thursday. we so greatly appreciate your prayers and patience.

on saturday i was talking with a sweet friend about our adoption process. we were talking about all that has happened in the past year and half that we have been on this journey. when we started this journey we expected it to be a much quicker process. her words to be were "divine delays". that's exactly what the past 1 1/2 years has been.

i'm so happy to tell you that after all the divine delays we have been MATCHED with a sibling group in our own state. next monday, jan 25, at 11am we will travel out of town to have a meeting with the kid's social workers to learn everything about the kids. after the meeting brian and i will take some time to pray and make sure this is what God wants for our family. just because we have been matched with them doesn't mean they are automatically ours. we still have to choose them.

this week is going to be a really long week as we wait for next monday to come. we are beyond excited and very freaked out at how quickly and drastically our life could change. we are so thankful for all the divine delays it has taken to get us here. it is so much bigger than we ever anticipated. we are now asking for divine clarity and peace as we make the decision to invite these children into our home.

tomorrow, tomorrow, please pray for tomorrow!

well this week has been full of excitement. on monday night we got an email from our social worker that she was coming to our house on tuesday (yesterday) to meet with us. YIKES!!! and YAY!!!!! we rushed to get the house in some sorts of order before she arrived.

yesterday we had the opportunity to have 2 ladies who work with different 3rd party adoption agency here in tennessee alongside DCS (department of children services). they were wonderful. we had a pleasant afternoon talking with them and sharing our hearts for adoption, kids, and the desire to open our home. they asked lots of questions and we asked lots of questions and we felt so calm. we knew that so many people were praying for that meeting and we felt it. your prayers were heard because even our dog jackson was wonderful. usually he doesn't like strangers coming over but he warmed right up to the 2 ladies. that was such a simple blessing that God gave but made such a huge impact.

now for the big prayer request and news. the ladies told us about a possible sibling group and they are meeting with the sibling group and their case worker tomorrow to see if we are a match!!!!!! wow, can you believe it? we could know something as early as tomorrow. it's pretty overwhelming. we aren't really sure what to think right now because we just have no idea. tomorrow they could decide that we don't match and then we see what else is out there or they could decide we do match and then we begin the process of how quickly can we get them in our home. it's like we are sitting on the edge of our seats not really sure weather to scream, shout, cry, laugh, freak out or what. so please PLEASE pray tomorrow for that meeting. pray that God would give divine clarity to everyone making that huge decision and that God would show them what is best for those kids. also, pray that God would prepare us for whatever the answer is whether good or bad.

i will update later this week when we here more news. i know y'all are sitting on the edge of your seats with us. we love and thank you for it!

still alive

i apologize that it's been a few weeks since i last posted. we had family in town on and off for the last 3 weeks and that always throws off my schedule (but i love being thrown off my schedule). and what am i saying, since i am no longer employed i don't really have much of any schedule. our christmas was wonderful with family. we were spoiled with unexpected gifts that put smiles on our faces. we are so thankful for our families who love us the way they do. it seemed to be the year for fun "toys" as i like to call those gadget thingies. our newest toy is the wii. but not just the wii the wii fit plus! now, i grew up in a house were there were no video games. in fact i couldn't tell you when if ever i sat down to play a video game. i was actually really grateful not to have this distraction in our house. i wanted our house to be the same. and up until a few months ago that was our plan. but since we've made the decision to foster adopt alot of our thinking has changed. most of the kids (especially) the boys LOVE to play video games. they all state that it is there favorite thing to do. well i just couldn't bring myself to telling our future kids that they could never again do the thing they most love (even though i'm sure it is their favorite only because they haven't had other options). needless to say i felt the wii would be a compromise. i still have no desire for any shoot-em-up games in our house but with the wii we could make it very family oriented. so i'm kinda excited about our new toy. plus the wii fit plus is pretty incredible and will kick your but. but it totally makes working out fun and exciting. so that has made it's way into my daily routine.

speaking of our adoption we are still just waiting to see which doors God opens and the direction he leads us in. the holidays were very quiet with an email here and there. the latest news we have is that we are hoping for someone to come to our house in the next few weeks to meet with us and talk with us a little more. i'm beyond excited to meet and talk with someone. who knows where it will lead but we are praying that God will continue (as he always has) to open the right doors in his perfect timing. but once again as we wait i continue to clean and organize. also, with my time off i'm trying to do some things that i don't and won't always have time for.

one of the things i love to do is scrapbook and make cards. i'm trying to have a stockpile of cards if anyone needs any for the coming year. i hope to post pictures soon on our sidebar if you would like any. i have also set a goal to scrapbook at least brian and i's first 2 years of marriage. so i'm staying busy while also trying to find a job. just being patient and praying for God's direction and provision. again, i'm excited for 2010 and all that God is doing amongst so many. may God bless you in 2010 and provide you with the open doors you need.