i surrender all

when you say those words out loud "i surrender all" what are you really meaning? so many of the songs we sing in church say bold things like "i surrender all" or "take my life at let it be all for you and for your glory". do we truly understand what saying that means? i think that so often we say we "surrender" to God but it's only what is right in front of us. or we say "take my life" when it means for something good. it's easy to worship God when times are good and when life is going pretty easy. but what about in those seasons that are harder than anything you imagined? what about those moments that are so disappointing that you find it hard to breathe? what if something horrible happened to someone you love? in those moments do we want to "surrender all" or ask God "your will be done"?

this morning we sang those songs with those words in them and i knew God was speaking directly to my heart. if i knew the hardships of following after God would i still have surrendered my life to him? if he asked me to go to the ends of the earth would i still ask him to use me? many times in my life i have boldly asked God to use me and move my heart. and you know what, HE DOES!!! when we surrender to him its for the good and the bad. when we tell him that our lives are his and for him to do with as he sees fit it sometimes is very painful and sometimes very sweet.

brian and i were preparing to attend our meeting tomorrow to learn more about the sibling group that we have been matched with but it has been postponed until further notice. we are incredibly disappointed. even though this doesn't mean they still aren't ours it just means more waiting and more speed bumps. we are continuing to trust God's leadership but i caught myself this morning from the thought of "God, if i would have known everything that we would have to go through i don't think i can do it." i stopped myself because i did, am, and will surrender all and i am asking God's will to be done.