this morning we sang those songs with those words in them and i knew God was speaking directly to my heart. if i knew the hardships of following after God would i still have surrendered my life to him? if he asked me to go to the ends of the earth would i still ask him to use me? many times in my life i have boldly asked God to use me and move my heart. and you know what, HE DOES!!! when we surrender to him its for the good and the bad. when we tell him that our lives are his and for him to do with as he sees fit it sometimes is very painful and sometimes very sweet.
brian and i were preparing to attend our meeting tomorrow to learn more about the sibling group that we have been matched with but it has been postponed until further notice. we are incredibly disappointed. even though this doesn't mean they still aren't ours it just means more waiting and more speed bumps. we are continuing to trust God's leadership but i caught myself this morning from the thought of "God, if i would have known everything that we would have to go through i don't think i can do it." i stopped myself because i did, am, and will surrender all and i am asking God's will to be done.