can't sleep

it's late and i should be sleeping but i can't. tonight i have been thinking so much about my sweet baby boy as he is waiting and growing inside his birth mommy's tummy. thinking when will i get to meet him? praying for understanding during the waiting. knowing that God has perfect timing. resting in His presence and nothing else. believing that His glory will be shown along each step. asking God what the future holds for us. praying that my baby is safe. praying that he is healthy. knowing that even now God is whispering in his little ear. i know His arms are holding him so tightly. i know that God knows my desires. but even with all the faith that i have and the knowledge that i have of who my heavenly Father is...the waiting is sometimes more than i can take. not just the waiting but desperately wanting to know your child, knowing that he is yours, but someone where so far away. i wouldn't change any of this for the world and we're ready to do it all over again. but i'm anxious. i'm trying not to be but i am. i see so many other families bringing home their precious adopted children and i pray that we will be next.

i'm continually reminded that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. i'm blessed to think that God knows how impatient i am but also knows that with His strength i can wait. wow. God is so awesome. every day i'm praying that our baby will come home soon and every day i know we are one day closer.

"good night my sweet, baby. i love you and know i will meet you soon."

sweet spot

tonight i went out to where our youth is having their summer camp. brian has been out there all week. brian has been involved with the jr. high at our church for the past year and a half. he's incredible with those kids. this week he has been working days but then going to camp in the evenings and staying overnight. i know he wished he could have spent the entire week out there but he was able to take today off and got to be super involved.

for those of you that don't know brian and i met at camp. we were both leaders. it was my second summer at the camp and brian's first. he was in charge of all the summer staff (that means me). so yeah, he was my boss. i fell in love with him by watching him interact with the children of one of my favorite cities, new orleans. i remember this specific time we were at a block party and he was playing soccer with this group of boys and i said out loud to my friend "God created him to do that right there." brian is totally in his sweet spot when he is investing in the lives of children.

even though tonight i was just there for the worship service it was still a blessing to see brian and the kids that God is impacting through him. i couldn't help but shed a tear as i watched these kids when the light bulb when off in their heart and they "got it". you know what i'm talking about. the moment when you realize how in love you are with God and you want to scream from the rooftops how much you love him. as i stood their worshiping, i also felt like i was in my sweet spot. it's something so special to be involved in the lives of the next generation. allowing God to use you even if it just to pray for them and intercede for them.

i wish there was a way brian and i could both be involved with kids full-time and make a living off of it. that would be sweet. God did not create brian and i to work behind a desk for long. i'm so thankful that brian is involved with our jr. high kids at he is making a difference. i help out in the nursery with the younger ones. again, if we could just do that day in and day out it would be incredible. i'm praying and believing it will happen!

one year

this time last year our church started an orphan ministry. at the first meeting they showed a video of kay warren speaking at an orphan conference. i left in tears. i came home and told brian that we needed to start the adoption process NOW. i knew the Lord had spoken directly to my heart and that he was going to open doors if we were obedient. thank goodness that brian heard God speak too.

i can't imagine my life without embarking on this journey. i can't imagine missing out on watching God move not only in our lives but in everyone who has participated. however, i do wish that i could post that we were going to pick up our baby tomorrow or how wonderful our transition is going with the new addition to our family or about the long sleepless nights with a newborn. but it isn't yet time. God still must have some things to do before it's time for us and our sweet baby to start our lives together. i completely believe God has perfect timing. i'm sad that i don't have anything babyish to do while we keep waiting. everything is done. sometimes i feel like this is taking so long that i forget we are adopting. i feel so bad for saying it but it's true. you should know by now that this blog is more like my journal about everything that is going on so take it as you will. i don't know would i would do if i couldn't write out my thoughts and feelings and share them with the cyber world for the 5 people that might want to read it.

so thank you if you are one of those 5 reading!

just an update

still nothing really going on. we are still waiting. this past weekend we went up to the mountains in east tennessee. it was nice to have a long weekend away. with all this waiting we needed some distraction. we spent friday at the biltmore and saturday was just a lazy day. it was a great little get away.

this week brian is working at our youth's summer camp. he is working during the day and then spending the evening and night at camp. that leaves jackson and i at the house by ourselves. so of course that means a scrapbooking week for me! i'm so far behind. if you didn't know i'm a huge scrapbook fan and it is such a way for me relieve stress. so i tonight i am cleaning the house in order to turn it into a mess the rest of the week :)

i know everyone is so anxious for this adoption process to go faster. so are we. it is really hard waiting each and every day. again. it's like being 9 months pregnant for an unknown amount of time. so we thank you so much for your prayers during this time. we also ask that you would pray for our work situations. that God would open and close the right doors.

i'll try not to go so far in between posts next time.

celebrating with friends

i realized today that it has been awhile since i have posted anything. these past few weeks have been a little crazy in our life and we haven't had much time to do anything. but that's not a bad thing. staying busy keeps are minds off of just sitting and waiting.

one of the exciting things we've been able to do in the past few weeks is celebrate with 2 families that have brought home new children. it has been incredible to watch and cheer them on from the sidelines. you've heard us mention our friends the spencers. a few weeks ago they brought their little boy micah home from the ukraine. he is so precious and looks exactly like his family. if you didn't know he was adopted you would never guess. you can read more about their story here: http://bringinghomeboys.blogspot.com/

on the 4th of july we celebrated with our friends the weimers as they came home with 3 ethiopian children. they already have 3 biological children and 3 ethiopian children at home. now they have 9! wow! they are an inspiration. we can't wait to catch up and have our own 9. but we'll start with 1 right now. their family is beautiful and again, it is such a blessing just to be a part if even for a moment. you can read more about their story and see pictures here:

http://blessingsfromethiopia.blogspot.com/http:/

brian and i continue to thank you for your prayers during this time of waiting. we are anxious but we know God has perfect timing. i just have to tell myself that over and over again. sometimes i tell myself that 5 dozen times a day and that's ok. so for now we will just pray and stock up on diapers. feel free to send any diaper coupons our way or anything else baby related.

praying

well we are in that time where we have done everything we can possibly do. we have filled out every single piece of paper to complete our paperwork. we've raised every single dollar to bring this baby home. and we have a closet full of diapers to get us through the first couple of weeks. we've done everything i know we can do to bring this baby home as soon as possible.

but it doesn't work like that. just because we are ready doesn't mean it is time. i wish it did. but it doesn't. there isn't much to report because nothing really new is happening. all we can do now is pray. we are so blessed to have each of you walking with us during this time. all i can think about is when Jesus heard that Lazurus was sick as was going to die he still waited 3 days after his death to go and visit. why? if Jesus knew that his friend was dying why did he wait so long. well when you read the scripture you will notice that it says that "many Jews had come to Martha and Mary". Jesus didn't just want to show his glory to Mary and Martha but to MANY. that's what i keep thinking about our little baby. God is going to show His glory when he brings this baby home and he wants to make sure that MANY see it.

i'm resting in God's timing. and i love my friends who are right their with me. i am blessed to have a friend who has done this before and is so encouraging and knows exactly how i feel. here are a few of the prayer request that i have been praying during this time of waiting

• for the birthmother as she makes a decision that will change the rest of her life and her child's
• for the birthmother to have courage to make such a difficult decision
• that the birthmother would find supernatural peace in her decision
• that as the birthmother flips through profiles she will see us and we would be familiar to her
• also praying that she would have a healthy pregnancy and easy labor
• for our little baby that might be sitting in a womb somewhere
• that he would be held by the hands of God
• that he would remain healthy and even now God would speak to him
• lastly just praying for brian and i as at a moment's notice might have to step into parenthood
• that jobs would work out
• that we would have patience with each other during these emotional roller coasters
• that we would lean on the amazing friends God has surrounded us with
• that we would rest (and even get good sleep) in God's perfect timing

thank you for taking the time to pray for us, intercede on our behalf, and praying for our child. we love you.