Thursday, September 2, 2010
day 170 - a grieving heart
have you ever had someone who stuck by you through thick an thin? who loved you no matter what you did? who would forgive you for leaving him all day or choosing everything else over him? someone who goes crazy if you are out of there sight? someone who never judges but is right there to lend a hug? someone who would give his life to protect you? someone who would take all the pain in the world if he felt it would save you from even a fraction of it? someone who's favorite pastime is to curl up on the couch and snuggle? our "someone" is our beloved and amazing dog jackson. i've written a few posts about him previously on here but this one is a little different. jackson has been a part of this family for over 3 years and honestly, he is my baby, my firstborn. we haven't spent more than a few days a part in the 3 years he has lived with us. he sleeps at the foot of our bed every night and usually ends up sharing our pillows. he has become little k's best bud. they share gazillions of adventures in the backyard every day. he brings joy to my heart every day.
i'm sure you are curious why my title was "a grieving heart"? due to extreme circumstances it was no longer in jackson's best interest to live in our home. today he went to live with a new family that will love him unconditionally. he will be their new "baby". i know he will bring them joy they way he brought joy to us.
my heart has grieved for the past week knowing that he would be leaving. i knew he was a part of this family but i never knew exactly how much until it was time to say goodbye. over the past 6 months jackson has endured all the stress that the rest of us have gone through. unfortunately he had become an easy target and took the brunt of a lot of the tension. so we tearfully said our goodbyes. this morning little k, jackson and i spent some awesome time at a local dog park. as soon as we got in the car i cried like a baby. then we dropped him off to be groomed before he left and i cried like a baby again. i even got the groomer to cry when i told him what the day looked like for jackson. it was pitiful. jackson wouldn't leave my side. yesterday he would bark every time i left his sight. he knew. he was grieving. i miss him. even sitting here writing i miss him curling up next to my feet while i type. i miss him running down the hall while i fold the laundry. i miss hearing him snore when he is in a deep sleep. i miss knowing that there was always someone around to protect me. i miss my baby but i'm happy for his new journey to begin.