Monday, April 12, 2010

day 27 - finding balance

i have had in my mind for the past several weeks all these wonderful and different things to post about...but time tends to get away from me faster than i can think. so as part of me trying to find some balance i am just going to start fresh from this moment. hoping to steal some time to write as often as possible. just please bare with me.

we are 4 weeks into our new family. we have been through every emotion known to man and some i never even thought existed. we have are having some amazingly sweet moments. you can read all about our easter vacation with the grandparent's on my mom's blog (or Gigi as the boy's call her) over here at Gigislittlegarden.blogspot.com. sorry but i have to much on my mind to go backwards and remember all that happened. let me just say we had a really awesome time.

we've also encountered some really tough moments. but in those tough moment's we call on God and he provides just what we need. his grace is so sufficient. we are learning to speak truth boldly over and through our household.

in all these sweet and hard moments i am still trying to figure out how to balance being a mom, a wife, and me. i feel like i'm either trying to stay on top of the laundry, cook, stay on top of the dishes, get everyone to all their appointments, spend time with my husband, take quiet time for myself, find some time to catch up with friends, and just keep everyone in the house sane. i don't know how you moms out there do it. if you have any tips i'm all ears. i feel like i need to choose who i want to be and that i can't be all 3. i want my house to be a safe haven for my family. i want my husband to be showered with love and adoration every time he walks in the door. i want my children to be so well behaved that i can take them anywhere i need to go and everything will be ok. the bottom line is that everything just feels out of my control! there i said it. i do like to be in control. i'm usually very good at working hard to get what i want. but since God has rocked my world i'm needing him to rock my heart and mind. i'm needing some balance. i need to give myself freedom. it's all easier said than done. but thankfully i serve a stubborn God who will not give up on me.

time to go pick up the boys from school...

2 comments:

Carrie Bevell Partridge said...

You are singing the song that all mothers find themselves singing, Audra. It is definitely hard to find balance in it all. Remembering that this is a season helps me get through the difficult times. Motherhood is good at providing an identity crisis. :) Be sure to take time for yourself every week. You'll be a better wife and mother for it. Hang in there and give yourself grace! You're experiencing a huge change that may be wonderful, but it's still very difficult. On the same topic, read the lyrics to this song: http://bit.ly/aaxuO9

Daddy and Mama Brown said...

I so understand this post. I have two little ones 34 months and 18 months old. They are the biggest blessings and miracles ever given to me and my husband. There are days I feel like Super Mom, multi-tasking with the best of them, shoveling out love, direction, discipline, etc.

There are days I feel less than adequate as a mom, wife and woman...I could crawl into a hole and cry all day long. ALL mom's find themselves trying to balance all the plates in the air without letting one fall. Sometimes taking a step back and holding your babies and hubby tight is the best balance you can give to them and most importantly...to yourself. Going from 0 to 4 kids at one time will take it's toll. A toll that most of us cannot comprehend. Give yourself permission to let the dishes go or let the laundry slide every once in a while. Being a perfect parent is a punishment I sometimes put on myself, but is not realistic for any of us.

Keep your chin up and keep your eyes and heart focused on the one that never gives you more than you can handle. I'll keep you in my prayers for you to find that balance and solace as you journey through the waters of motherhood. You were chosen for a reason to care and love on your babies. Give yourself a pat on the back every once in a while and don't be too modest to take encouragement and praise when it is rendered to you.