Friday, July 30, 2010

day 136 - transition

one thing i have found about adoptive children is that they struggle deeply with transition. they hate it when plans change last minute or if plans spontaneously appear. i know in general kids struggle with this but adoptive kids extremely struggle with this. unfortunately i have learned this the hard way with our summer. i spent most of the summer "playing it by ear" and it didn't serve me well. now, we did make it through the summer but it wasn't without its fits and battles. i'm thankful that it is almost over. but i'm not a person who likes structure. i never get up at the same time or eat at the same time every day. i've spent most of my life trying NOT to get stuck into a routine but with 4 kids i'm finding that i will drown without one. i'm not saying every minute has to be planned but some structure is really good. i would probably loose about 50% of my questions throughout the day if i just had a list up of everything that was going on or needed to be done that day ahead of time. even something as simple as creating a weekly menu for the kids to see.

my kids don't understand when plans change. they hear one thing and anything after that doesn't matter. for example: if i said we have 1 hour to play at mcdonald's but you have to not scream, hit, or get in the way of other children. you must also listen and obey immediately or we will have to leave. well 10 min later all hell breaks loose and i'm telling my kids we got to go and they start pouting and throwing fits. in my mind i don't understand why they can be upset. but in their mind they heard we were going to be there for 1 hour and they think i lied to them.

transition is tough. and honestly it is starting to rub off on me too. i've got to go work on my calendar so i can put on our board what is coming tomorrow.

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