over the weekend i think i finally started nesting. my house just can't seem to get clean and clutter free enough. i vacuumed, mopped, dusted (all those thing i'm so bad about doing on a regular basis), and even went through all the piles sitting on the floor. i made brian go through stacks of magazines to see how many we can recycle. we actually went through quite a bit. i still have the guest room/office/collect all room to do tonight but i'm on a mission. i still have found a lot of stuff i want to get rid of to help clutter free our house. we will get there but like i said, i'm on a mission. i've never felt this sense of urgency to get my house clean and orderly. i think brian is enjoying it.
i'm sure as any pregnant women can attest to during your last trimester you just get anxious and are ready for the baby to come. that is exactly how i feel. i'm so excited to sit back and watch what all God is doing but i'm anxious for the waiting to be over and my baby to be in my arms. we did find out last week that our adoption profile is now online for all the birthmom's out there to view. and the exciting thing is that putting "brian and audra" in the alphabetical order list means we are close to the top. we are on page 1 in tennessee and page 6 or 7 for the entire country. pretty sweet and exciting.
i really do believe this baby is coming sooner than later because i'm recognizing Satan trying harder and harder to distract us from focusing on God. at first i just thought brian and i were just getting exhausted with all the waiting and it was getting harder to stay focused but God opened my eyes to see that it was Satan distracting us. i already feel such a burden to constantly be praying for our little child and his birthmother. i know without a shadow of a doubt that God has special plans for this child so i can't imagine that the birthmother's pregnancy will be easy. but as i've been reading James 1 this past week i'm reminded to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when faced with trials..." i am thankful for the trials. i am thankful for the waiting. i'm thankful that life isn't easy. i'm thankful to have to fight for my territory. i'm thankful that Satan thinks I'm worth fighting against, that my household is something he desires and wants to own, and that my marriage makes him quiver and shout. It's great to have the devil's attention because that must mean that God is doing something awesome and Satan is doing everything he can to destroy it. i'm thankful for a Saviour who claims the victory over my life every day. i'm thankful that the battle is already one. i'm thankful for the love of my Father. i'm thankful that even right now God is whispering into my son's ears and holding him close. i'm thankful for all the people who have made this journey happen. i'm thankful. so thankful.