Thursday, September 25, 2008

Can't Eat or Sleep...already!

ok, so i know that we are just at the very beginning stages of this adoption process but every day is one step closer. i can't even begin to explain how excited we are. it was so amazing how much confirmation we received yesterday about choosing the Domestic route for our first adoption. which of course means everything is going to happen a lot faster. which i am totally ok with. i'm scared to death and overwhelmed with joy at the same time. going the domestic route will probably take us about a year so it is a lot more like being pregnant. now, i have never been pregnant but my mind cannot stop wondering about what baby God has already hand picked out for me. how big is he? what colour will his eyes be? will he be a chubby baby? will it be a boy? will he be healthy? will he be smart? will he like me? will i ever be able to convey to him how much i have loved him even before i knew who he was? but you know what....none of that really matters cause he will be mine! i already can't eat or sleep. all i can think about is how quickly can this happen. is my baby already conceived? what will his birthmom be like? is she healthy? i just find myself praying for her all the time. i pray that God would protect her from everything. i pray that she would find favor with her family and that they would support and love her. i pray that the doctors would treat her well and would have wisdom with her situation. i pray that we can be a light in her life even without knowing her.

but for now we are about to be swamped with paperwork, medical exams, classes, trying to fit it all into our work schedule, and raise finances. yeah, finances. it's one of those things that i BELIEVE God will provide. just now it will need to be a lot sooner than expected. i'm just praying that God will give us wisdom of what to do and how to make those finances come together. i just keep telling myself "one day at a time"!


mrsrachel said...

Hey Audra, I found your blog via Facebook, and I just wanted you to know that I'm SO excited for y'all! I think adoption is such a beautiful display of God's love and character, and I'm glad to get to read of y'all's journey through this process! Isn't it wonderful that the Father has already ordained a specific baby for you? Blessings!
Rachel (Fort)

jenny said...

Audra- this is so exciting! William and Glenna Marshall (Union alums :) just adopted their baby boy through BCS :) Keep us updated on the process- we are praying for you!

Sheryl said...

I'm so excited for you! You're going to be a great mom. :)