for some it might seem like we have "cacooned" our boys for way to long. we still don't go out much and they don't have a lot of friends they hang out with. at the beginning we felt it necessary to keep our kids close to home in hopes to build attachment. alot of adoptive families differ on the subject of cacooning. for our family this has proven to beneficial. although some days if seems like we haven't made any progress I know that we have.
our boys didn't call us mom and dad from the beginning. it hasn't been until just recent that our older boys have referred to us as mom dad. that's progress! i didn't realize how much not being called "mom" by my own kids effected me but when i finally started hearing it i realized how much it did. my attachment to them began to grow.
we still face behavior issues daily and some days it is extremely exhausting. often I myself asking God why things aren't more different. why hasn't more progress been made? He then gently reminds me that they are good kids but have a lot of bad habits that are going to take a while to heal and change. they have been severly broken and that healing takes time. there trust in me, as their mom, might take forever. He also reminds me that I am not loving them and parenting them to receive their love and affection in return.
each morning this summer we have a morning routine that consist of breakfast wt 8am followed by 30 min of quit time and practicing our memory verse for the week. this is a time where we encourage them to spend time praying or reading the word. if not doing one o this then reading quietly and respecting those who are choosing to spend time with God. it's easy for me to get frusrated when they don't choose to spend time with God. I can get all self-centered and think "when i was there age I understood what it meant to love Jesus why don't they." just the other day God spoke to me and reminded me that I was blessed to be born into a family that loved Jesus. I had a foundation in Him long before I ever fully understood what that meant. my boys didn't have that same foundation. God had different plans for them. but even still, they are in the word and they are memorizing scripture. even little K can tell you our 2 verses we've already memorized. that blows my mind. last Sunday at church one of the boy's teachers came and told me how much my kid had participated in a discussion they had. they were discussing the Holy Spirit and my child not only understood but was explaining it to others. I was blown away. so even though we may not be seeing huge steps in daily life God is growing them leaps and bounds spiritually. I'll take that kind of growth any day!