from my heart

so when i was younger i never thought anything about having my own children. that was the farthest thing from my mind. i didn't even want to be around babies at all. even in college i didn't think anything about kids. but during the summer of my junior and senior year i worked down in new orleans doing inner city ministry and i fell deeply in love with kids. i couldn't wait to have my own bunch running all over the place driving other people crazy. i couldn't wait to be the soccer mom who always had the entire neighborhood's kids at her house cause my house would of course be the "cool" house. i just needed to find a husband that would want to do all that with me. well God blessed me with brian and the dream grew. we have always wanted kids. and for some reason as soon as we got married we decided we wanted to have a lot of them. i'm talking 8 or 9. we might be saying differently once we have one but we really do have a heart for kids. i can't think of anything better than having a house full of little warriors fighting against the world with truth, like God's own little army. what a blessing to me a mother. i've never really thought of all the blessings just the hard work. i mean i have no doubt it will be hard work but that seems so small compared to the abundant blessings.

i know God has layed adoption on our hearts for a reason. he has them all picked out already. he knows their faces, their eye colour, their name, their favorite colour, what their favorite smell will be, and who they will be when they grow up. wow. i am so ready to be a part of it. on saturday morning we had a women's bi-monthly bible study at our church. one of my friends was leading us in music and she taught us this new song. i want to share the lyrics with you:

Hear the sound
The sound of the nations callingHear the sound
The sound of the fathers crying
Who will go for us
Who will shout to the corners
Of the earth
That Christ is King

CHORUS
We speak to nations
Be open
We speak to nations
Fall on your knees
We speak to nations
The kingdom is coming near to you
Oh we speak to strongholds
Be broken
Power of darkness
You have to flee
We speak to nations
The kingdom is coming near to you
We speak to you
Be free be free

Hear the sound
The sound of the nations worshipping
Hear the sound
Of sons and daughters singing
We will go for you
We will shout to the corners of the earth
That Christ is King

now that you have read the lyrics change all the "nations" to "children". what does that do to you? yeah, i cried the entire way through the song. i say the face of everychild i think i have ever encountered as we sang that song. and i really felt like God kept saying "i'm bringing them to you". i want to intercede on behalf of those children, all children. i will take as many as God blesses me with, both biological and adoptive. it's funny cause we sure don't have the financial means to even take care of the two of us sometimes but i KNOW God will provide. our house will one day be full of children from around the world but until then i will intercede on their behalf and fall on my knees begging God to save their lives. i'm asking him to break the darkness for those that seem to be forgotten. i'm asking him to use me, show me, mold me, soften me, and prepare me for the children he is bringing into our lives. they ARE coming.